ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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