We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
there is puke in my bra ... again
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