I looked at my own cervix.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
