If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
