I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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