i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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