Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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