escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
