It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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