I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
