its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
