I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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