using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize