I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
