quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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