i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize