Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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