she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
