She's JV to your varsity
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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