I just saw a hot homeless man
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
