I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
