I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
