I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Can you repeat that, but with context?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
