$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
