And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
