dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
