Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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