Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
