They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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