I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
