I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize