I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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