Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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