i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
