Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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