i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
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