Don't you send me to vm
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
