...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize