moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
