They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
