Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
