thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
