Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
