i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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