Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
