piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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