Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
