You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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