apparently the secret to your success is patron
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
