Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
