Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Text me some of your sweat
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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