Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
