I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize