I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
