Joe is yelling at the trees again.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
