try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
