last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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