college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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