The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
