...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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