did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I have demons in me.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
