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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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