Already got asked if we're dating
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My balls are so social today.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize