he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
