fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
