i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
