he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
