I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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