Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
