I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
