I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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