Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
third nipple confirmed
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
