you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
