wrigley field is MILF paradise
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
