your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
