when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
