did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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